


Keeper

by namelesslunitic



Category: Family Guy
Genre: Crossdressing, Fluff and Humor, Intimidation, M/M, Protective Older Brothers, Stalking, dogxbaby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 11:02:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21135647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namelesslunitic/pseuds/namelesslunitic
Summary: What is a concerned older brother to do when his little bro is now in a relationship with an inconsiderate asshole? Whatever it takes, of course!





	Keeper

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy or its characters.

_ “Are you and Brian a couple?” _

The middle Griffin child had always been considered the slowest of the group, just one tier below his idiot father who probably still got more credit just for being a somewhat functioning adult. So, it was kind of funny that one of the “dumbest” Griffins ended up being the only one who could see the obvious relationship brewing between his younger brother and the family dog. Funny, indeed, but really, Chris had always been more observant than anyone wanted to give him credit for. Most artists were, at least when it came to some things, and one of those things was definitely the way he was able to read the interactions between Brian and Stewie like no one else seemed to be able to. It didn’t take him long after first realizing how close those two were for him to start forming suspicions, and while he had been somewhat teasing when he asked Stewie that question, there had also been some genuine curiosity there.

Then Stewie responded, stuttering around for a response in an obviously nervous manner, and that was the moment it all finally clicked into place. No, they weren’t a couple...but the possibility was certainly there. 

He’d only become more attentive to the situation after that, and while Stewie hadn’t been lying to him when he had first denied the accusation, that was no longer the case.

Possibility had become reality.

Something had happened. He wasn’t entirely sure what, but the vibe between Stewie and Brian had once again shifted and now he was sure of it.

Brian was in a relationship with his little brother.

This was the primary thought throbbing in Chris’s mind as he lay in bed. He wasn’t sure he knew what to do with this information, though.

Truth be told, he wasn’t exactly...fond of Brian. He didn’t appreciate how hypocritical the dog could be at times, didn’t appreciate how much of a jerk he could be. The constant state of being in and out of relationships irked Chris, too, and now that dog, who had proven time and time again that he had no clue how to maintain a relationship, was most likely in one with Stewie!

It made his blood boil a bit.

His fists went tight around the sheets as he spoke in a hushed mumble.

“If you hurt him, Brian…”

Chris loved his brother, and the thought of someone breaking that little guy’s heart was not one he wanted to entertain. Well, he had no choice now. Brian was bad news.

He was always bad news.

What could he do, though?

A part of him wanted to tell Brian to back off, but another part felt that might be a little too much, especially considering how much Stewie so obviously liked Brian. Little dude had him now, and losing him, no matter how, would do nothing but cause him to hurt.

Chris didn’t want that.

He REALLY didn’t trust Brian, though.

“Shhhhhhh! We’ll wake them up!”

A voice from somewhere outside the teenager’s door caught his attention. He sat up and began listening carefully. He could faintly make out the sounds of footsteps making their way up the stairs.

_ Guess they’re finally back. _

Stewie and Brian had always been prone to running off together before, but these frequent nights out together were quite different from the normal adventures and shenanigans. They never used to go out at night so much, for one, let alone stay out so late. It was happening pretty much every other night, now, though.

Chris huffed before slowly making his way out of bed and over to his door. He then carefully opened the door up, just a crack, just enough for him to hear better and possibly see the pair once they made it to the second floor. Soon he was just barely able to make out the silhouettes of his brother and dog. Both of them seemed to be dressed up. Well, Stewie looked like he was in a dress. No surprise there, though.

_ You do you, dude. _

They began talking again, slightly slurred speech making it clear they were both intoxicated.

“I can’ts belieeeeeve I got you to get up there and d-do kakaraoke, B-Brian.”

The infant snickered as they began walking down the hall.

“Y-You were...you were sho nervous!”

The canine scoffed.

“N-Nervous? Wh-What gave you that...idea?”

They stopped once they reached the door to Stewie’s room. The baby laughed again.

“Doessssn’t t-take much, babe. I can...r-read ya like a booook.”

The child then reached up with his finger and went to poke the dog on the nose playfully. Brian flinched away, though, and then suddenly snapped his teeth defensively, causing Stewie to get startled. The baby jumped back, losing his balance and falling to the floor. Luckily, he only landed on his butt. Brian still shot forward, though, apparently concerned.

“Y-You alright?”

The infant quickly hopped to his feet before straightening out his dress.

“Y-Yeah…”

There was a beat of silence before Brian sighed.

“S-Sorry… You sorta...took me off g-guard there, though. It was jus’ instinct, Stewie. I didn’t mean…”

The boy shook his head, motioning for the dog to stop.

“It’s f-fine, Bry. We-re both a little...a little tipsy. Thingssss ‘appen.”

He then motioned toward the door as the tone in his voice shifted into something more...suggestive.

“You’re free to m-make it up to me in there, though.”

He’d heard enough.

Chris quietly shut his door, his stomach turning a bit due to what he had just seen and heard.

He sighed and began heading back to bed.

_ I’ve got my eye on you, Brian. _

* * *

Many more nights like this followed, each one more sickening than the last. Chris did try and ignore it, but whether it was due to some kind of brotherly instinct or something else entirely, before long, he was forced to acknowledge that he simply couldn’t.

It certainly didn’t help that his room was right next to Stewie’s, meaning he...definitely heard more than he ever wanted.

Way.

Too.

Much.

That alone would be enough to drive anyone off the deep end, he figured, but beyond that, he just could not get over his pure distrust of the family dog. He was willing to bet that any day now those cries of ecstasy he kept hearing would turn to cries of pain, and honestly, he wasn’t looking forward to seeing which one would make his stomach turn more.

This crazy relationship was doomed to fail. He just knew it. Somehow he knew it.

Stewie was going to get hurt, no way around that, but...maybe there was some way for him to mitigate that pain?

The wheels were turning in Chris’s head, but his options seemed pretty limited. He’d been thinking all of this over for days now, and he was still pretty lost as to what to do. How much meddling was too much? Also, would he even be able to get away with interfering if he didn’t at least have some kind of excuse for it? He didn’t exactly want his baby brother to hate him after all was said and done, but if he was able to somehow show Stewie…

Something clicked for the middle Griffin in that moment.

No, there wasn’t much he could reasonably do, right now, but if he was able to prove to Stewie how bad Brian was for him…

He’d need to actually catch Brian doing something first.

Well, that was sure to be easy enough.

Chris scoffed.

“This won’t take long.”

* * *

“Hey, little dude.”

The tubby teen strolled casually into his little brother’s room, hands firmly in pockets as he approached the baby who was currently working on a remote of some kind. The toddler looked up, obviously startled a bit after being pulled from the focus he had on his current task.

“Oh! Hey, Chris! What ya… What ya doin’, big guy?”

Chris shrugged.

“Uhhhh, nothing much”

He shuffled his feet, trying his best to not seem too suspicious. Stewie was pretty smart, smarter than him, and he didn’t want his baby brother getting suspicious yet.

_ I have to word this just right. _

“So, hey, I need to spy on someone.”

_ Perfect. Someone could be anyone _.

The child blinked at his older brother before setting his project down and standing up.

“Ok… What kind of someone?”

_ Shit! _

Chris fought to maintain a calm appearance as he shrugged again.

“Just...some guy. I need to know what he’s up to.”

Was that too much? Now Stewie knew he was going to be spying on a guy, and that eliminated, like, what? Half of the “someones” he had first mentioned? Sheesh! He was going to have to be more careful.

The baby tilted his head, watching the teen carefully before ultimately shrugging as well.

“Mmkay!”

The boy walked over to the bottom drawer of his dresser and opened it before starting to rummage around through the various items in it.

“Now, let’s see. I know I put some things in here. Tossed ‘em in here pretty recently, actually. I used to, uh, do a decent amount of spying myself.”

The baby laughed to himself as he continued to search through the drawer.

Chris walked up behind him, trying to get a peek inside the drawer for himself. By the time he able to see, though, Stewie was already tossing something his way. The teen managed to just barely catch the item, fumbling around with it for a moment before holding it steady and seeing what it was.

“Can’t go wrong with a good pair of binoculars. Now, I definitely had something else in here. Damn thing is so small, though…”

Chris began fidgeting around with the binoculars as Stewie continued his search. Immediately, the teen was able to recognize how nice they were. They had all sorts of buttons and switches that he couldn’t make head or tail of; pretty high-tech looking stuff. He redirected his gaze out the nearby window and placed them up to his eyes. A crystal clear image of the interior of the neighboring house across the street appeared before him, Cleveland’s house.

The bedroom more specifically.

And it wasn’t empty.

_ Oh my god! Mrs. Brown is undressing! _

“Ugh! Where is it? Did I… Have I used it since…”

Stewie’s words were quickly fading into the background as the horny teen continued to stare slack-jawed at the bonafide MILF unknowingly putting on a show for him.

Did she really not know, though?

After all, if he could see her so clearly, binoculars or no binoculars, surely she could see him, too, right?

Ohhhhhh, yeah. She knew. She knew what she was fucking doing.

The teen gulped.

_ I won’t tell your husband if you don’t, Mrs. Brown. _

_ The woman turned to meet his gaze, chuckling coyly. _

_ “Seems like a fair deal to me, young man.” _

_ She proceeded to remove her pants, shimmying her hips sexily as she kept eye contact with the boy in the window. Slowly they slithered down her legs, and then… _

“AH HA! There it is!”

Chris jumped, almost dropping the binoculars as he turned back to focus on his little brother, heat in his cheeks.

Stewie was shutting the drawer, now holding what looked like a walkie-talkie. The infant turned around and offered up the item for Chris to take as he began explaining.

“This should be a big help to you. With this, you’ll be able to listen in on whoever you want at anytime.”

The teen began turning the device over in his hand, not exactly sure how it was supposed to do such a thing.

Stewie must have picked up on this.

“It’s pretty simple, actually. There are two compartments in the back. Now, the bottom one is just for the battery, but the one above it actually contains a veeeeeeery tiny…”

The child held up his hand, holding two fingers just barely apart in order to illustrate his point better.

“...microphone that you can place on your person of interest. All you have to do is touch it to them, and that sucker will remain stuck and hidden on their person for as long as you wish, guaranteed!”

The boy smiled as his explanation came to an end.

Chris just nodded his head as he opened the top compartment in the back. Sure enough, even if he had to squint to see it, there was something very small and circular contained inside.

_ Sick! _

The teen closed the compartment and smiled back at his brother.

“Thanks, Stewie! This is perfect!”

With that, the older brother turned and quickly left the younger, content that he now had everything he would need to catch Brian red-handed.

* * *

_Thursday. September 3rd. 1700 hours. Subject is currently out to dinner with the package. Window seat makes visibility ideal. Objective: Reconnaissance. Observe subject. Keep log of any suspicious behavior._

A fully camouflaged Chris was currently tucked away in a bush across the street from the restaurant that Brian and Stewie were currently dining in. He was watching the pair through his binoculars as he listened in on their conversation with the radio Stewie had given him.

He chuckled to himself smugly.

Getting that microphone on Brian had been a piece of cake.

_ “Hey, Brian!” _

_ The large teen came galavanting down the stairs, startling the family dog who was able to just barely move out of the way before Chris had launched himself onto the exact spot of the couch he had previously been occupying. _

_ “Ah, Chris! What the hell!?” _

_ Chris was wearing a large, rather disturbing smile as he then proceeded to enthusiastically scratch Brian behind his ear all while screeching loudly. _

_ “Who’s a good boy!? Who’s a good boy!?” _

_ The dog winced from the force of the scratching, trying to get away, but unfortunately the large boy had him pinned pretty securely against the side of the couch. _

_ “Ahhhhh! What are you doing!?” _

_ Chris just kept scratching. _

_ “I SAID WHO’S A GOOD BOY!?” _

_ The canine’s ears began ringing from the shrill shout, only adding to his discomfort. He figured all he could do was comply though, in the hopes of getting Chris away from him as soon as possible. _

_ “I am! Goddammit! I’m a good boy! Ok!? Me!” _

_ And, then, just as suddenly as the torture had begun, it ceased. Chris stopped scratching and hopped up off the couch to head back up the stairs without another word. Brian just stared at him as he exited the room, completely baffled. _

_ “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?” _

“What? Why would he do that?”

“Beats me! It was like he’d lost his mind or something! I’m not gonna lie, Stewie, it was pretty terrifying.”

Chris laughed once again.

“They don’t suspect a thing. They just think I’m crazy.”

_ Perfect. _

“Well, guess it doesn’t matter, right now. Let’s not worry about it. I just want to enjoy my evening with you, Bry.”

Chris watched as the pair then smiled at each other before picking up their respective menus. Not long after this, a waitress appeared to take their order, and Chris watched as Brian’s eyes immediately went to her breasts. He even zoomed in, following Brian’s eyeline so that he could confirm this observation

The teen made a note of this in his notebook and sighed.

_ Making this too easy, Brian… _

“Ooooooo, stuffed chicken marsala! Well, it looks like Stewie just found what heeeeee’ll be haaaaaaaving.”

The child’s falsetto rang out as he indicated to the waitress the item on the menu he had his eye on. She jotted the order down and then turned to Brian to take his order before gathering up the menus and leaving the two alone once more. Once she was completely gone, Stewie leaned in and whispered something that Chris was only just barely able to make out.

“Hopefully that chicken isn’t the only thing getting stuffed tonight.”

He winked at Brian, prompting both the dog and Chris to grimace slightly, though Brian’s apparent discomfort soon gave way to rueful chuckles.

“Jeez… You’re insatiable, I swear. Thought I’d finally gotten it out of your system for a while last night, but I was obviously wrong.”

The child shrugged.

“What can I say? You’re a fun lay, certainly doesn’t help matters that I’m absolutely over the moon, head-over-heels in love with you, either.”

The teen felt bile rising up into his throat.

Brian diverted his gaze briefly, a paw going up to scratch behind his neck bashfully.

“Yeah, I guess...that would certainly...exacerbate things…”

The infant snickered.

“Luckily for me, once you finally came to your senses, you turned out to be about as easy as they come. You’d never turn me down. Right, Bry?”

Brian hesitated.

Another note was made.

“Never really did before. Why start now, right?”

There was another laugh as Chris made yet another note of, what he considered to be, a strange answer.

Stewie simply shrugged, though.

“It really was inevitable, wasn’t it, dear? You and me. We were destined for each other the moment I entered this crazy, mixed-up world, Brian.”

Chris shook his head as Stewie continued to give a mini-speech about how he and Brian were true soulmates or something. It was disappointing, really.

_ I thought you were smarter than this, little bro. _

* * *

Chris continued to follow the pair around for the rest of their evening out. He followed them to the ice cream shop they stopped at after dinner, watching them as they sat outside to enjoy their sweet treats. Brian’s eyes kept wandering over to various women walking by. No surprise there. Make a note. He followed them to the movie theater, finding himself a seat a few rows back where he could remain out of sight while still keeping an eye on the couple. At one point during the movie, Stewie went in for a kiss, but Brian dodged.

“Not right now. This is actually getting good!”

Make a note.

And, finally, he followed them out to the park. Again, Brian seemed to get uncomfortable whenever Stewie made any overt gestures of affection. Make a note. Before long he was trailing them all the way back home.

“Mmmmmm. That was wonderful, Bry. Every night spent with you is magical.”

A nervous chuckle from the dog.

“Ahhhhhh. You’ll get tired of me one day.”

_ You already tired of him, Brian? _

By the end of the night, Chris had quite a few pages worth of notes that he proceeded to pour over in his room after Brian and Stewie had retired for the night. It was pretty damning stuff, he thought. Pretty much anytime a decent looking woman came anywhere near Brian, the dog would IMMEDIATELY turn his attention her way, and all the while, he seemed to get REALLY uncomfortable whenever Stewie made any moves or tried to act coupley or something.

This just wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all, and this was just from one night of watching them!

Chris sighed and shut his notebook. Things couldn’t continue this way. He had been wary, at first, but now he knew what he needed to do.

He needed to confront Brian.

...Except...Brian was always with Stewie, so…

The teen sighed again.

_ Guess I’ll just keep an eye on him until I can get him alone… _

* * *

That opportunity did not come for quite some time.

Over the next few weeks, Chris continued to keep tabs on Brian and Stewie as much as he could...or as much as he dared… There were some things that an older brother was just never meant to bear witness to...or hear. The teen shivered. He knew he couldn’t stop watching them, though. It would all be worth it once his work was done.

That’s what he kept telling himself.

_ Gotta expose Brian. Gotta protect Stewie. _

He was currently sitting on a bench at the mall, donning a trench coat and shades while waiting on the pair to exit one of the many stores in the building. Today’s activity of choice? Shopping spree. Stewie, as usual, seemed to be having a blast as his boyfriend spoiled him with gift after gift. Chris saw this for what it was, though. Brian must’ve figured he could distract his little brother from all the obvious warning signs by buying him whatever he wanted, and unfortunately, this cheap tactic actually seemed to be working.

Chris shook his head but then quickly pulled a newspaper he was holding up and over his face as he saw the pair finally exiting the store.

“It’s so hard to find clothes that don’t scream ‘cheap slut at a five-hundred percent markup’. Oh, well, I guess that’s why malls are dying.”

“Uhhhhhhh, right…”

Stewie continued on with his mini-rant as if Brian hadn’t spoken.

“If not even Forever 21 can make it, what hope do the rest of us have? Isn’t that the eternal dream? Forever 21? Or is that just your usual dating pool?”

There was a teasing tone there at the end, but Chris didn’t hear Brian say anything. Stewie must have taken that as his cue to continue.

“This store needs an Agent Provocateur so I can look like a deliberate, high-end escort. Wouldn’t you say, Brian?”

A flirty chuckle from the boy.

Followed by awkward silence.

A fake cough.

Then, Brian finally spoke, ignoring the last comment completely.

“So...where to now?”

Stewie responded immediately.

“Well…”

But, he was cut off suddenly by a ringtone going off.

_ So oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-ohhhhhhhhhh. _

_ You need to cal- _

“Hello?”

Chris took this moment to chance a glance from behind his newspaper. Stewie and Brian were still standing right outside the store, holding hands as Stewie took his phone call. The expression on the child’s face shifted from slightly confused to concerned.

“Wait. What?”

He let go of Brian’s paw and placed his hand on his hip as he began nodding his head.

“Ok. Mmmmm. Crazy… Right. Alright. No. No, it’s fine. I owe you anyway. I can be over there in about half an hour. No, seriously, it’s fine. Ok. Ok. Yes. I’ll see you soon. Bye, then.”

This whole time Brian was staring down at his boyfriend, head tilted, expression uncertain. He didn’t speak until after Stewie had put away his phone and turned his attention back to him, though.

“Ok...we going somewhere?”

Stewie shook his head as he smiled a little sheepishly.

“That was a, uhhhhh… That was a friend.”

He cleared his throat.

“I, uh, I have to go, babe. They need my help, and I can’t… You can’t really come with me.”

The canine’s eyes went wide.

“Huh? Why not?”

The infant shrugged before leaning up to give the dog a peck on the cheek.

“Just gonna have to trust me on this one, hun. I’ll explain later, I promise.”

Brian still looked kind of shocked as Stewie offered up a warm smile before taking a step backwards.

“Meet you back home later!”

He winked.

“Still need you to be my audience of one as I model those outfits for you, after all.”

Chris heard the dog huff before sighing reluctantly.

“Whatever, I guess…”

Stewie’s smile faltered slightly, but he didn’t say anything more before finally turning and heading for the exit on the mall, leaving Brian standing there alone with the bags from their trip.

Chris had seen enough. Seeing his opportunity finally present itself, the teen quickly hopped up from the bench and began making his way out of the mall, as well. A smug smile formed on his lips.

_ See you back at home, Brian. _

* * *

At last the moment had come.

It was too perfect, really. The house was totally empty, everyone having gone off to enjoy their own activities for the evening. Night had fallen, and Chris had managed to beat Brian back home by quite a lot of time. All the lights were off, and he was sitting in the recliner awaiting Brian’s entrance, practically full notebook in hand. Oh, the damning evidence that notebook contained. He couldn’t help but smile as he imagined how helpless Brian might look once confronted with all the things he had seen and heard.

_ It’s ok, Brian. This is for the best. Just think of it as me keeping you from making your biggest mistake yet. You’re welcome. _

There was no telling how long Chris sat there waiting around in the dark. Eventually, though, he heard the sound of a car pulling up into the driveway, lights from the vehicle illuminating the room briefly before drifting away again as the car parked. The teen sat up straight in his chair and waited only a couple minutes longer before finally hearing the door open.

“Hello, Brian.”

His voice was deep, serious, and Brian obviously hadn’t expected to hear it since the first words out of his mouth weren’t words at all but a surprised shout.

“Ahhhhhh! What the…”

He shut the door and flipped the lights on.

Chris remained seated, a part of him wishing that the recliner could rotate so he could dramatically reveal himself to the canine. He didn’t want to move, though, fearing he would ruin whatever intimidating atmosphere he had managed to stage.

“Chris?”

Brian was soon coming around the side of the chair, staring at the teenager in pure confusion as he sat his shopping bags down in the center of the living room.

“What the hell are you doing? And why the hell are you wearing tha-”

Chris raised a hand to cut Brian off before pointing at the bags on the ground. His eyes remained locked on the dog, though, cold yet solemn.

“Doing a little shopping there?”

The canine looked down at the bags for a moment before facing Chris again.

“Uhhhhh, yeah...why? What’s-”

Chris interrupted him again.

“That all for you? Doesn’t really seem to match your style, Brian.”

Brian seemed to open his mouth to say something, but for a moment, his jaw just remained hanging there silently before he finally responded.

“They’re...not for...me…”

The teenager nodded.

“Ah.”

He leaned forward and folded his hands over his notebook.

“You seeing someone new, then?”

More hesitation as the canine took a step back.

“Y-Yeeeeeaaaah… Since when have you-”

“Someone special?”

The dog gulped, though a bit of a smile formed at the edge of his muzzle.

Curious…

“Yeah…”

The answer came out slightly under the canine’s breath before he spoke up louder.

“Why are you asking me all this, though? What’s going on here, Chr-”

“I know who it is, Brian.”

Whatever momentary calm the dog had been experiencing vanished as worry overtook his expression.

“What…? You kn-”

“I know it’s Stewie.”

Worry quickly gaze way to full on panic.

“Wh-What!?”

Brian took another step back, his breathing becoming erratic as he began waving his paws in defense.

“Chris, whatever you think is happening. I can assure you-”

“I don’t think, Brian.”

The teenager held up his notebook as he grunted out the next two words.

“I know.”

Brian just shook his head, paws still flailing.

“You’ve got the wrong idea, man! I would NEVER!”

Chris suddenly stood up, his tone growing more stern as genuine anger flared up in him while he screeched out in retort.

“Never!?”

The canine jumped back, retreating into himself a bit as he struggled to keep eye-contact.

“Yes, never! It’s fucking Stewie!”

_ The nerve of this…! _

“What’s the problem, Brian!? My little brother not good enough for you!? Is that why you’re trying so hard to keep him a secret!?”

This outburst caused the dog to stumble backwards, resulting in him falling down to the floor as he cowered away from the angry teenager.

“No! Chris, you don’t understand! It’s-”

And, then, Brian’s eyes went wide as some of his panic subsided.

“Wait… What did you say?”

Chris rolled his eyes.

“Oh, ho ho, don’t act like you didn’t hear me, Brian. You’re ashamed of my brother, aren’t you!?”

The dog continued to lie there, now looking baffled as he held up a finger, trying to gain a second to think.

“Ashamed of… Well, I… No, it’s not…”

He chuckled mirthlessly as he met Chris’s eyes with a nervous gaze.

“What was...the issue here again…?”

Another laugh escaped him, a means to release some of the pent up tension this confrontation had caused.

The teenager held up his notebook.

“I’ve been watching you two very closely, and-”

“You’ve been what!?”

Now, it was Brian’s turn to look angry as he finally got up to his feet.

“Chris, you can’t just go around spying on people!”

The teenager slammed the notebook down on his palm.

“Well, YOU can’t just go around using people! Especially when that person, for some reason, obviously cares about you so much!”

Chris opened his notebook and began skimming through pages, prompting Brian to just tilt his head in further confusion.

“I’m still not entirely sure what you’re so mad abo-”

“Here we go. This was only a few days ago. You and Stewie were at the museum when one of the workers there walked by. Stewie was talking to you about a painting, but you immediately started ignoring him the minute you caught sight of her.”

Brian’s eyes diverted downward slightly, but they quickly shot back up as he addressed the teenager who was now flipping through more pages.

“This isn’t about me actually BEING with Stewie, is it…”

Chris looked up from his notebook long enough to shoot Brian a bewildered expression.

“What?”

He then refocused on the book, not all that concerned with Brian’s answer.

The canine just sighed and took a step forward.

“You mean you’re ok with us being together?”

Chris ignored him and simply pointed to another page.

“This was about a week ago. You were walking down the sidewalk. Stewie tried to hold your hand, but you dodged him.”

Brian sighed again, this time sounding more annoyed than anything.

“Chris, I think there’s a big misunderstanding going on here, and I don’t think this is going to go anywhere until we clear it up.”

The teenager slammed his notebook shut and stared daggers at the canine as he once again spoke in that almost psychotic sounding deep grunt of his.

“What misunderstanding, Brian?”

Though the dog did flinch away slightly, he was able to stand his ground as he answered.

“So, you’re actually fine with me being in a relationship with Stewie?”

Chris began screeching as he replied exasperatedly.

“No, I’m not fine with it! You’re awful!”

Brian winced at the insult but allowed Chris to continue.

“You’re the biggest hypocrite in Quahog! You believe you’re entitled to being seen as great despite doing nothing worthy of greatness! You talk down to and belittle those who think differently than you! And, to top all that off, you can’t maintain a healthy relationship to save your fucking life! You use everyone who is stupid enough to get involved with you, and now, you’re with my goddamn baby brother! Of course I’m not fine with it!”

The dog frowned, his face tilting down towards the floor as a paw went up to scratch behind his neck. There were a few moments of awkward silence before he finally said something, eyes still focused on the floor.

“Ouch… Way to really lay it all out there on the table, champ…”

There were a few more seconds of silence before the canine finally sighed and looked back up at the teen.

“So, that’s it then? That’s all that’s bothering you?”

Chris groaned and opened his notebook up again.

“This was one of the first things I ever saw. You two were out to dinner, but you couldn’t help but gawk at your waitress.”

Brian just nodded his head.

“Ok. I get the picture.”

Chris was about to mention something else he had seen but stopped when he noticed Brian picking up his shopping bags and starting to turn around.

“Hey! What are you doing!?”

The dog didn’t say anything as he began walking towards the stairs.

The teenager slammed his notebook again, a loud clap echoing through the room as he called out to the animal again.

“I want you to break things off with him! It’ll hurt him, but it won’t be much worse than what you’ll eventually do anyway.”

The canine went limp on the first step, head and bags hanging there as he huffed in irritation.

“And what will you do if I don’t?”

Chris just smirked and held up his notebook.

“I’ll tell Stewie myself what all I’ve seen and just why you’re nothing but bad news.”

Brian nodded his head, back still facing the teen.

“Hmmmm… That really would suck.”

He then continued his way up the steps.

Chris wasn’t going to allow Brian to ignore him, though. The teen ran up to the first step and called up to him.

“He’s too good for you, anyway!”

At this, Brian stopped again, his head finally rotating to look back at the teenager in pure anger.

“You’re probably right, Chris. You’re probably right, but you know what? That’s not for you to decide. So, please, kindly fuck off and leave us alone.”

Chris’s eyes widened in rage as he watched the dog then proceed on his way up the steps.

“You’ve got one day, asshole! One day to break up with my little brother or else I’ll tell him and everyone else just how shitty you’re treating him! Don’t try anything funny either! I can hear everything you say!”

Brian was soon completely out of his view, and soon after that he was met with the response of only a door slamming shut.

* * *

“You’re being awfully quiet tonight, Bry. Is something wrong?”

Chris was in his room, lying in bed and listening to Brian and Stewie through the radio. He kept waiting to hear Brian finally do what needed to be done, but just like Stewie had pointed out, the animal hadn’t been very talkative at all ever since Stewie had finally gotten home.

That had been almost two hours ago.

“Brian? Yoo-hoo! Are you in there, boy?”

_ Come on, Brian. Quit stalling. _

“Wh-What? Oh...sorry, Stewie. I was just...thinking…?”

_ What’s there to think about? You know I’m right. _

“Thinking?”

There was a shuffling noise.

“Thinking about what? We don’t have to do this, right now, if something is bothering you. I just figured you would enjoy watching me model for you a bit.”

Brian sighed.

“I’m not sure I can really say… Believe me, Stewie, I wish I could just sit and enjoy this, but…”

_ Do. It. Brian. _

“Brian, you know you can tell me anything. We’ve talked about this.”

More shuffling.

“It’s...not like that, Stewie… It’s not that I can’t...word what is bothering me. I just...need...to be careful with what I say right now. Believe me, I would tell you everything if I actually COULD.”

There was more shuffling, and then, the radio went quiet for some time, long enough for Chris to feel like he needed to check and see if it had died or something.

It hadn’t.

_ What the…? _

After a few minutes or so, Brian’s voice finally came through the speaker again.

“Huh? Y-Yeah, but how did-”

Chris scrunched his eyebrow. Stewie hadn’t said anything. What was Brian talking about?

“What!? You kne-”

The teenager heard what sounded like a foot stomp on the ground.

“Shhhhhhh!”

Then, there was tapping before Brian was heard again.

“Ohhhhhh! Right. Gotcha. Uhhhhh, this might take a while, though…”

What followed after was several minutes of some kind of scribbling sound, leaving Chris absolutely befuddled as to what was even going on anymore.

_ What is he...doing? _

After a while, Stewie’s voice was heard over the radio.

“Really? Well, I didn’t exactly expect that…”

_ Expect what!? No one is talking! _

“Oh… I’m so sorry, Brian. I didn’t think that…”

The baby huffed.

“That, too, huh? Well, I can see why that would actually concern you.”

_ Are you guys playing charades or something!? _

“Ok. That’s enough. Here, let me just...”

Stewie’s voice trailed off as the sound of rustling overtook it. It only lasted for a few seconds, and then, the child was speaking audibly again.

“Let’s just go to bed, babe.”

More rustling and, then...silence.

Chris sat up, not exactly happy that things hadn’t gone as he had wanted...even less happy about it since he wasn’t even entirely sure what had happened instead. He sat there, hoping to hear someone say something else, but there was nothing. After a few minutes, he checked the radio again, and sure enough, the power was still on. There was just nothing coming over the line but complete and utter silence, and it remained that way until Chris finally gave up with a defeated sigh. The teenager shut the device off and placed it on his nightstand before lying back down.

_ Guess I’ll deal with it tomorrow. _

* * *

The next day came, and Chris immediately went for the radio. Since it was already well into the morning, he fully expected to hear something by now.

There was nothing, though.

The teen groaned in frustration before quickly hopping out of bed and getting dressed. He ran out into the hallway and stopped to take a peek into Stewie’s room. Both Brian and Stewie were nowhere to be found. He rushed down the stairs and found Meg sitting on the couch watching the television. Chris stepped in front of it and faced his sister.

“Chris, what are you doing!? I’m trying to watch something here!”

He ignored her as he tried to speak calmly.

“Have you seen Brian and Stewie?”

Meg stood up, anger and confusion on her face as she went to shove her brother out of the way.

“Move, fatass!”

Chris blocked her shove and the two began to wrestle with each other in the living room.

“Don’t call me fat, ugly!”

They fell to the floor and continued their struggle.

“Ahhhhhhh! Chris! What the hell is wrong with you!? I’m just trying to watch my show in peace!”

Chris managed to get the upper hand as he found an opening to roll on top of Meg and pin her down.

“You can watch your show after you tell me where Brian and Stewie are!”

Meg growled and managed to break her arms free long enough to give Chris a hard push that caused the teenager to fall backwards and off of her. She quickly stood to her feet and began dusting herself off.

“I don’t fucking know where they are! They were gone when I woke up, ok!”

Chris stood up next, composing himself as he spoke in a more civil but distressed tone.

“I need to find them, Meg. It’s important.”

Meg’s eyebrow rose in curiosity over hearing how worried her brother sounded.

“What’s going on, Chris?”

The younger brother paused, taking a moment to consider what he should say next. Would it be ok to just go ahead and tell Meg about everything? Would that be fair? He had told Brian that he would give him at least a day to end things with Stewie before he started talking with others about it. Maybe Brian had taken Stewie somewhere to do that? He really hoped so… And, if that was the case, he didn’t exactly like the idea of going back on his word until he knew for sure. No, that was something Brian would do, and he wouldn’t stoop to Brian’s level this time. He’d made up his mind.

“I was just...hoping they could help me with a project for school…”

At hearing this, Meg just rolled her eyes.

“That’s it…?”

She groaned again and retook her seat on the couch.

“You had me thinking something weird was going on.”

She shook her head and refocused her attention on her show as she continued to address her brother.

“I’m sure they’ll be back soon. Talk to Brian, then. Not sure what you expect Stewie to do, though. He’s just a baby.”

Chris just nodded his head before wordlessly turning to head back up the stairs and back into his room, and that’s where he spent the majority of his day waiting on Brian and Stewie to return.

* * *

There was a rapping sound coming from his open door.

“Knock. Knock.”

_ Brian… _

Chris shut off the game he had been playing on his computer and rotated his chair so that he was facing the dog currently entering his room. He folded his arms and stared at the canine sternly.

“So, you finally came back.”

Brian just stood there awkwardly for a second before taking a breath and replying.

“I needed to...get away for a bit...after...last night.”

The teen was unfazed by this admission. He was very irritated, especially about one detail in particular.

“And you just had to take Stewie, too?”

The canine held eye contact with Chris for a moment before ultimately looking off to the side of the room as he answered.

“Look, I know you don’t understand, Chris, but…”

Chris wasn’t interested in excuses. He only cared about one thing.

“Did you break up with my brother, Brian?”

His response was an immediate sigh.

“No, I didn’t.”

The teenager stood up from his chair and began walking to exit the room, nudging Brian out of the way as he passed by him.

“I’m going to, though!”

Chris turned around to see Brian looking panicked with his arm outstretched towards him. The teenager grunted.

“When?”

The dog lowered his arm and took a step forward as he elaborated.

“Tonight. I needed some time to think about it, but I decided I’d do it tonight while we’re out to dinner. I just…”

He paused for a second before continuing.

“Just let me have one more good night with him, please, Chris?”

In that moment, Brian truly did look pathetic and desperate, and to Chris’s own surprise, the teenager did manage to feel a modicum of sympathy for the animal. His stoic expression slipped a bit as he frowned.

One more night.

Brian was asking him for one more night with Stewie, and even though Chris was eager to have all this over and done with, he couldn’t lie and say that was an unreasonable request.

_ Stewie deserves one more good night, too. _

After thinking all this over, Chris simply nodded his head.

“Fine. One more night, Brian.”

The dog smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, Chris.”

He began to exit the room, but was stopped when Chris took a sudden, firm hold on his shoulder.

“Don’t try anything funny, though.”

He squeezed.

“Remember. I’m always watching.”

* * *

This was it.

One way or another, everything was coming to an end tonight. After learning where exactly Brian was taking Stewie, Chris had thrown on a disguise consisting of a suit, a fake mustache, a monocle, and a tophat before going on ahead and snagging a table at the restaurant they were going to be eating at. It was a pretty fancy place, clothed tables surrounded by a nice and relaxing atmosphere that was aided by music and candlelight. He had to hand it to Brian, if this was going to be the location for his and Stewie’s final date together, at least he was keeping it classy. It wasn’t long after his food arrived when he first noticed the pair being seated only a few tables down from him. Brian had gone all out on his formal outfit, a really nice looking suit topped off with a bright red bowtie, and Stewie...well...Stewie was almost unrecognizable since he was looking more like a woman than anything. It wasn’t surprising or anything, but it was still pretty crazy to Chris just how authentically feminine his little brother was looking tonight while all dressed up in his tight red dress, blonde wig, and heels.

And where the hell did he learn to apply makeup like that?

The teen figured he might want to ask Stewie some questions later. For now, though, he resolved to continue eating in order to keep up appearances, keeping his ears focused on the pair he had come here to watch over. It wasn’t exactly as easy as simply listening on his radio, but he knew Brian and Stewie’s voices more than well enough to still pick them out of a crowd. Stewie was the first to speak, albeit in a higher pitch than usual.

“Oh, my! If I didn’t know any better, Brian, I’d think you were taking me to such a lovely dinner just in the hopes of getting me into bed later.”

The canine snickered.

“As if I’d have to do all this just to get you into bed. We both know that’s a given.”

_ Watch it, Brian. _

Stewie giggled.

“Well, if that’s what you believe, I guess I can take this as nothing but a pure sign of just how much you care about me then.”

_ Don’t count on it, Stewie… _

A twinge of guilt suddenly hit the teen as he continued listening to the couple, continued listening to just how...happy Stewie sounded. It was enough to bring a thought to his mind, a thought he had been trying his best to ignore these last few weeks due to how much more difficult it made things.

_ You really do love him...don’t you, little dude… _

It was hard to feel smug when he knew that this dinner was going to end in heartbreak for his little brother. Yes, that had been the goal ever since he had started watching the two of them, and yes, he still knew that was what was for the best. But...as the end of this relationship drew nearer and nearer, Chris found the main feeling in his gut was one of mostly sorrow, and he just wanted to get this whole mess over with as quickly as possible.

It got to the point that, by the time Brian and Stewie had finally ordered, the teen felt like he had to tune out for a while because it was too much to keep hearing those two talking to each other so naturally.

“Excuse me, sir, will you be having dessert?”

Chris was snapped out of deep thought by his waiter suddenly appearing at the table. He looked up at the man and nodded his head enthusiastically, hoping he didn’t seem as distraught as he actually felt as he spoke in a posh-sounding accent.

“Why, yes, my good man. I do believe I will gladly partake in a selection of your finest sweets that you have available at this most fancy of establishments in our fine city of Quahog in this wonderful state of Rhode Island.”

The waiter looked at the teen with a mixture of befuddlement and impatience before quickly settling on the latter.

“Ok… So, what do you want, SIR.”

Chris’s eyes widened, causing his monocle to pop out briefly before he quickly put it back in place and began fumbling around with one of the menus.

“Uhhhh, well…”

He found the dessert section and pointed at the very first item he read.

“That!”

The waiter looked at the menu and wrote down the order, a smirk now on his face.

“Very well, sir. I will have that out to you in just a little while.”

The man then left the flustered teen alone at his table. It took a moment for Chris to pull himself together enough to refocus on Brian and Stewie. The two of them were still talking and still waiting on their food.

“Now, see, I don’t exactly need you to spoil me every day, dear, but this…”

The boy clinked his glass with a fork.

“This is the GOOD wine. Like I said, don’t spoil me too much, but we definitely need to drink THIS stuff more often.”

Chris watched as Brian rolled his eyes and pointed at something on their table.

“Must be. You’re really working your way through that bottle there. How many glasses have you had already?”

The child giggled that effeminate giggle of his as he sang out.

“You should have been paying attentiooooooooon.”

Brian just shook his head and laughed.

“Well, don’t go too overboard now. Our food should be arriving soon, and I’m paying too much for it for you to go filling up on wine so quickly.”

Stewie stuck out his tongue at his boyfriend before setting down his glass.

“Oh, you’re no fun.”

He then hopped down from his chair, prompting Brian to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

“And just where are you going.”

The child took a second to smooth out his dress before looking up at the canine.

“I’m gonna go freshen up, babe. You may be no fun, but you do still have a point. I should at least make it through dinner before getting completely sauced.”

Another giggle was heard as the boy walked over to where Brian was sitting before standing up on his tiptoes to give the dog a peck on the cheek.

“Mind if I sit here?”

Chris practically jumped out of his seat upon hearing a completely new and unfamiliar voice coming from just off to the side. He pulled his eyes away from Brian and Stewie and found a man he had never seen before pulling up a chair and taking a seat at his table.

It was...a little unsettling.

The now nervous teen responded in his disguised voice.

“Excuse me, young man, but do I know you?”

The man considered the teen curiously before bursting out into laughter.

“Young man!?”

Chris gulped and sat up straighter in his seat as the man continued laughing.

“Oh! Oh! That’s a...that’s a good one, kid.”

His laughter began to die down as he used a finger to wipe moisture from his eyes.

“Ohhhhh, that’s rich, I tell ya. I’m old enough to be your dad, dude!”

_ Kid? _

Was this guy actually seeing through his disguise?

And why the hell was he here!?

The teenager was rendered speechless by this completely unexpected turn of events. He wasn’t sure if he should try and find out what was going on or...well...run, and before he had come to a decision on the matter, the man was speaking again.

“Look, it’s alright, man. I can tell you’re a little freaked out, and I get it. Some strange guy shows up out of nowhere and sits down at your table? Yeah, I’d be a little worried, too. I’m cool, though, I swear. I’m just here to make good on a favor. Ok?”

Chris gulped again, completely dropping his fake accent as he responded.

“Wh-What kind of favor?”

The man smiled at the teen and then stood up from the chair he had just sat in as he motioned for Chris to do the same.

“Just follow me, kid. We’re not going far.”

Again, Chris wasn’t really sure about what to do, but after looking around the restaurant and seeing just how many people were around him, curiosity eventually won out as he stood up and nodded at the man.

“Ok. As long as we don’t go too far...”

The man smiled and patted the teen on the back before leaving his hand there as he directed Chris towards the back of the restaurant. The two of them made their way into the kitchen, passing by several chefs and servers that in no way seemed to pay them any mind. Before long, they reached a door that Chris figured must lead outside of the building.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

“Oh, no. There’s no way I’m actually leaving the building with you.”

He looked over at the man just in time to see him offering up an unaffected shrug.

“Fine with me. I’ve done my part.”

He pointed at the door.

“But your brother is waiting for you out there in the alley. Don’t keep him waiting too long. I’m sure he’d prefer to get back to his evening as soon as possible.”

Chris’s jaw dropped.

“Wait? What?”

But the man said no more before turning away and making his way out of the kitchen. It wasn’t until the mysterious stranger was completely out of sight that the teen finally turned back to face the door.

_ Stewie? _

He stepped forward, opened the door, and walked out into the back alley by the building. Sure enough, Stewie was there by the door with his back up against the wall and smoking a cigarette.

The child took a long drag, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke before looking over at his older brother.

“We need to talk, Chris.”

Stewie motioned with his head for Chris to join him up against the wall, and the completely baffled teen complied since he had no freakin’ clue what else he should be doing. He leaned up against the wall, trying to look as casual as possible while he waited to hear what Stewie was going to say.

The kid took another quick puff and tapped some of the ash from his cig onto the ground.

“Why have you been following Brian and me, Chris?”

The teen looked down at his little brother who seemed to be paying more attention to the wall across from them than him. A scowl formed on his lips.

“That bastard told you, didn’t he.”

At that, Stewie finally directed his gaze upwards to meet Chris’s with a similar but less hostile frown.

“He didn’t need to. I’ve had my suspicions from the moment you first came to me about needing to spy on someone.”

The boy shrugged.

“It wasn’t much longer after that when I actually started to notice you trying to hide pretty much everywhere we went. Inspecting Brian’s person while he was sleeping only to find my bug planted behind his ear was the clincher, though.”

He took another hit from his cigarette before continuing.

“I’ll...admit...I considered confronting you about it right then and there, but then...as my scientific mind is prone to doing...I began to become curious about what exactly it was you were hoping to accomplish. So, I allowed things to continue for a while just in the hopes of sating my own selfish curiosity.”

Stewie looked down, then, and shook his head.

“Well, I certainly regret doing that now…”

He looked back up at the teen, now looking much angrier than before.

“You said some truly awful things to him, Chris, and I don’t very much appreciate it. I expected you to finally do SOMETHING when I left him alone, but that…”

He looked off to the side, huffed, and took another rough drag before sighing out the smoke.

“That was cold, bro…”

Admittedly, Chris was having a little difficulty processing all this information at once, but he understood enough to become immediately defensive. The teen folded his arms over his chest and huffed right back.

“I’ve seen the way he treats you.”

This was obviously not the response Stewie had been expecting. The boy looked back up at his brother with wider eyes than before.

“The way he...treats me?”

His serious demeanor fell a bit as he opened up the floor for Chris to elaborate, which the teen gladly did.

“How are you observant enough to notice me but still unable to see all the red flags that I do? He’s much more interested in actual women than you, little dude.”

The boy looked absolutely shocked to hear this, inhaling sharply before tossing what little remained of his cigarette on the ground and stamping it out with his heel.

“It’s not as...simple as that, Chris…”

The teen unfolded his arms and took off his monocle, his attention diverting to that object as he responded.

“Well, it’s that simple to me.”

He pocketed the eyewear and looked back at Stewie.

“Anytime someone even kind of good looking walks by, his attention immediately goes to them. You try and be openly affectionate with him out in public, but most of the time he just brushes you off unless...you’re…”

Chris waved his hand towards Stewie’s ensemble.

“Unless you look like that.”

The boy’s lips downturned even further before turning away from Chris again. There were several tense moments of silence before Stewie ultimately sighed and began speaking in a hard to read, uneven tone.

“I...understand how it must look, but...don’t think that I’m completely unaware of those things...because I’m not, Chris.”

He began tapping his foot nervously.

“I’m not… I’m not that dim, but…”

The kid finally turned back to address his brother directly again.

“There are factors involved with me and Brian being together that I’m not sure that you fully understand. Brian… No, Brian isn’t perfect… I have no delusions about that, but...I also have to be understanding of the situation our relationship puts him in.”

Stewie’s lip quivered a bit but he was able to quickly compose himself as he continued.

“I knew what I was getting into, though.”

Chris raised an eyebrow at this, not looking entirely convinced as Stewie went on.

“Believe me…”

The boy let a small chuckle slip as a hint of a smile formed on his lips.

“It wasn’t easy getting to where we are, and I KNOW it won’t be easy staying there. The two of us...we have...vastly different personalities, and that can lead to us butting heads more often than not, sure, but there’s also something...absolutely undeniable there…”

The child smiled fully as his eyes seemed to glaze over while getting lost in thoughts about him and Brian. It was an expression that Chris had never really seen on his baby brother before, and he couldn’t help but smile in kind as Stewie kept talking.

“And, despite how difficult it can be at times, when I get to catch flashes of that...something...that special little element between us that is just so unique and rare, that’s when I know…”

Stewie’s eyes focused back on Chris’s again.

“That’s when I know that, even if Brian isn’t perfect…”

A hint of red hit the boy’s cheeks as he laughed a little too gleefully.

“Well, he’s perfect enough for me!”

That joy.

That pure joy that he could see radiating from his little bro. Was that what Brian did to him? The teen couldn’t help but chuckle a little as he stood up from the wall.

“You really do love him, don’t you, little bro.”

Stewie nodded his head with enthusiasm.

“I do, Chris. I love him so fucking much that it terrifies me.”

That smile faltered a bit, but it was only a brief second before it returned. That was still enough for Chris’s misgivings to come bubbling up to the surface again, though, as the teen allowed his own smile to fall.

“I just worry about you, Stewie. I know how things usually go with him, and I don’t want that to happen to you.”

Stewie stood up from the wall and began smoothing out his dress.

“I won’t lie and say that I don’t appreciate your concern.”

He finished up and looked back at his brother.

“And I certainly like the idea of having someone in my corner should things with him go...south...but, for now, I would appreciate it even more if you just gave him a chance.”

_ A chance... _

Chris simply nodded at this as he allowed Stewie to finish up.

“Because he makes me happy, Chris, and if you’re going to continue to butt into our business, that’s not going to sit well with me, big bro.”

The boy’s tone made it clear that he was teasing more than anything, but Chris was still able to tell that there was some level of sincerity to Stewie’s words. The teen smiled and shrugged.

What more was there really to say?

“Ok, Stewie, I’ll butt out.”

The teenager then kneeled down so that he was at eye-level with his little brother.

“But, if he ever hurts you, I’ll kick his ass.”

His arms then opened, inviting the younger in for a hug.

The boy chuckled before accepting the invitation, a rare moment of open affection from two brothers.

“Deal. You’ll be the first to know.”

Chris gave Stewie one last big squeeze before releasing the little guy and standing back up. He was about to start walking out of the alley, but Stewie stopped him by grabbing onto his pant leg.

“You can come back inside with me, if you want. There’s an extra seat at our table.”

With that, Stewie began leading the way back inside.

Chris only hesitated for a second before following after him. The pair of brothers made their way back through the kitchen and into the dining area again where Brian was awaiting them at a table that now had two plates of food sitting on it. The canine addressed Stewie first.

“Everything go alright?”

Stewie nodded his head.

“Mmhmm!”

He leaned up to peck his date on the lips before returning to his seat. He then patted a seat that was next to him, inviting Chris to sit as well.

“I’d say things went very well.”

Brian smiled at this before directing his attention to Chris.

“Yeah? So…”

He held out a fist.

“We good, then, champ?”

There was only a brief pause from Chris before he ultimately just rolled his eyes and bumped fists with the dog.

“Yeah, we’re good for now, Brian.”

“Excuse me, sir, but I believe this dessert is yours.”

A very large and extravagant looking desert was then placed in front of Chris who looked over to see his waiter from before.

“And, if I may ask, sir, please refrain from switching tables again. That sort of behavior is frowned upon in this establishment.”

The waiter then turned to leave, leaving Chris with no opportunity to reply. That was fine by him, though. The teen was now much too busy gawking at the treat that he had completely forgotten about ordering.

“Oh, boy! Ice cream!”

He then began voraciously digging in, his facade from earlier completely dropped as he indulged in the decadent sweetness before him. Brian and Stewie both laughed before starting on their on their entrees, quickly slipping back into casual conversation as Chris gorged himself.

It wasn’t long after this, though, that the waiter returned with a slip of paper, a huge smirk on his face.

“Your bill, sir.”

He was then gone before anyone had an opportunity to say anything more.

Stewie looked over at the bill and then back to Brian.

“Dear, would you mind getting that? After all, my brother is practically our guest now.”

The dog finished the bit he was chewing and then swallowed before frowning slightly.

“Uhhhhh, sure… Yeah, I can do that.”

Chris looked up from his ice cream feast long enough utter out a few words.

“Thanks, Brian!”

And, then, he was right back at it, only pausing again when he heard the dog shouting in a panic.

“What the hell!? Chris, what did you order!? That must be the most expensive dessert on the menu!”

Chris stopped eating as sheepish expression formed on his features. He looked over at Brian who was wearing an absolutely gobsmacked expression before turning towards his brother who was smiling and holding in laughter.

“Now, Brian, it’s rude to call out a guest like that.”

The canine’s jaw fell as he looked up from the bill and back at his date.

Stewie snickered.

“You’ve got it, right, babe?”

Brian began stuttering around for something to say before sighing and finally digging out his wallet.

“Y-Yeah...I got it…”

A whimper was heard, but the two brothers paid that no mind as they smiled at each other.

Stewie mouthed a few words his way.

I.

Got.

You.

The both of them laughed, and as Brian began counting out bills from his wallet, Chris began to wonder if that dog may actually be a keeper after all.


End file.
